


What It Feels Like

by SaraJaye



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Mention of Animal Death, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Troubled Past, learning to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 16:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2032485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Wolfie it had been so simple, but Ricken was scary. Exciting. A feeling he knew but couldn't deal with and didn't want to miss a moment of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What It Feels Like

_The past is the past, why cry about what can't be changed? I've got my own life now and I get to spill all the blood I want!_ And he means it; he didn't know his parents enough to miss them or wonder what if they'd loved him, and as terrible as the magic school was he still got to do some neat tricks.

But one part of that past still haunted him now and then, and once in a while he couldn't help feeling wistful and lonely for her.

"Hey, Wolfie," he murmured, even though she couldn't hear him where she was. Someday she would, someday he'd come up with a super hex like Tharja's that let people talk to the dead! But for now, he had to settle for wondering. Was her spirit still out there? Maybe she'd been reincarnated into a new little wolfie, or a different animal. It was thoughts like this that kept him up nights, brought him down from his usual cheerfulness, and he _hated it!_ Sadness was a waste of time that could be spent killing enemies or practicing neat curses!

"Maybe I should work on a curse that can revive the dead, huh?" He laughed bitterly. "I'd bring you back, Wolfie. I'd introduce you to everyone and they'd love you. Hehe, especially Sumia and Ricken!" Maybe she'd even help him tear Risen to pieces, just like his crows sometimes pecked their eyes out. The crows would be happy to see their old friend, too.

It probably wouldn't work, though.

He sighed, looking up at the cloudy night sky. Maybe that was for the best, she could come back all gross and bloody and full of holes and as cool as that normally would be, he couldn't subject his first and for a while only friend to that.

"I miss you," he mumbled. He hated being sad, feeling this vulnerable. Wolfie wouldn't want him to cry.

He was about to go back to his tent when someone sat down beside him, he didn't need to turn around know who it was. He and Ricken had become closer lately but he still wasn't sure _how_ close, joining the Shepherds was the first time he'd ever had friends and he wasn't sure how to deal with that. He'd never declared he would get bloody revenge for a _human_ who'd been cut down or injured, _because_ they'd been injured.

He'd kill for anyone, but Ricken was different. Special, somehow. He hadn't felt this close to another living being since Wolfie, and he'd failed her. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. He'd kill anyone _before_ they harmed Ricken.

Was this what it was to have friends?

"Are you okay?" Ricken asked, moving closer and putting a hand on his. Henry smiled a little and turned to face him.

"Hey there, Ricken! Shouldn't you be sleeping? Growing kids like you need their sleep!" He said it just to tease, of course, Ricken was sixteen and becoming as much of a man as anyone. And if anyone else had said that Ricken would have snapped, but for Henry he just rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out.

"I could say the same about you! You're not _that_ much older than me, you know."

"Hmm, true..." Henry chuckled. "Couldn't sleep, huh?"

"It's way too early. I thought Frederick was bad about telling us when to sleep, but Laurent's even worse! He's nothing like his dad, that's for sure," Ricken said with a snort.

"He's a good kiddo, though! He means well and all," Henry said. "Heh, sort of weird how we're the only ones without any kids, though, right? Always wanted some, but...you know. Relationships, not my thing!"

"Most of the girls here think I'm too young," Ricken groaned. "But it's okay! The kids like us well enough...we're like uncles! And maybe we'll meet our future brides somewhere down the line."

"Meh, maybe." Henry shrugged. "So, what else is new in Ricken-land?"

"Nothing, really." Ricken leaned against his shoulder. "What's new with you? You seem kind of...quiet, tonight. A little out of it." Henry tensed.

"Nothing...nothing at all!" He pulled Ricken closer. "Just felt like sitting out in the dark. Alone. You know me, I'm weird!" But he probably wasn't fooling Ricken, not with how close they were lately. And if the shoe had been on the other foot Ricken wouldn't have been fooling him either. He sighed, looking up at the clouds. "I still don't resent you, really. I mean, Mufasta was a great guy and I was mad when he died, but..." He looked back at his friend. _His friend._ It still felt weird to think that. "It's silly, right? If someone gets cut down revenge isn't gonna bring them back! Feels bloody good, but still!"

"I guess." Ricken seemed a little unsure, though, even as he leaned his head on Henry's shoulder. "I was just thinking about what you said earlier, but you seem like you'd kill for me before anything happened. I've never had a friend go to _that_ much trouble for my safety."

"Yeah, well..." Henry bit his lip. "I dunno! It's weird and crazy but I just feel that way!" He ran a hand through Ricken's hair. "You're just really important to me, somehow! It's...a little scary, honestly." The words left his mouth before he could stop them. "And not in a good way! Like I'm starting to figure out what makes you so different to the others!" Ricken's eyes widened in concern as he pulled back slightly, not out of fear but to look at him.

"What makes me different? I mean, can you put a name to it?"

"I dunno!" He brushed Ricken's bangs away from his face. "I don't even think I want to, hehe. As long as you mean the world to me I'll protect you and if you ever get hurt I'll make the enemy pay! And that's enough, right?"

Ricken smiled, resting a hand on his cheek, and Henry felt a weird sort of warmth spreading through him. Despite his words he knew what the feeling was, but as far as he was concerned it happened to other people. Having it happen to you was a whole other ball of Risen limbs!

It sure felt nice, though. Weird, but nice. Like warm enemy blood on your hands, or the fur of a mama wolf. He pulled Ricken into a hug and felt the other boy snuggle close.

"It's enough for me, Henry. It always has been."

Ricken would never replace Wolfie, but he didn't need to. Love came in so many forms; Wolfie was gentle and maternal and simple, where Ricken was scary and exciting and new.

He didn't want to let go of that feeling as long as he lived.


End file.
